Live Fully

How to deal with bullies in the workplace - Ten Tips

 

Human rights legislation covers unreasonable discrimination and harassment in the workplace based on one of the protected grounds such as age, race, disability, sex etc. However, most of the harassment that people experience in the workplace are not human rights but personal harassment by an incompetent boss or by someone who is tripping all over his or her ego that they feel it necessary to belittle others in order to feel powerful and important. These people can make a hell of a person’s work life. These are the most insidious types of harms workers feel in the workplace. When you are an employee some bosses like to treat you in ways they cannot treat their own children. They want to tell you what to do and how to do it and call you names such as idiot, dumb, sicko, stupid and the worse kinds of swear words they use at you when they cannot get their way. Where do people go with that? You may be able to take the matter to court but how many can afford to do so. You feel you are in a no-win situation. You may love your job and do not want to move but how do you live in such a toxic, inhospitable and demeaning environment.  The truth is you can’t, you will either die, have a nervous breakdown, or do harm to your boss – all untenable situations.  In any workplace, you will find that some people get bullied more than others. There are some people that the boss would not dream to tangle with those are the people who are confident and wise and their body language say, I respect myself.

 

Ten tips on dealing with workplace bullies and to avoid being bullied

 

1.  First rule respect yourself

 

2.  Second rule do your job to the best of your ability

 

3.  When you respect yourself others will respect you and you will not be tempted to turn yourself into a doormat and give others the permission to walk all over you.

 

4.   Regardless of what type of job you do carry yourself in a professional manner

 

 5.  We all make mistakes and if you make a mistake, own up to it in a dignified manner and promise to do better next time.  Do not get into a shouting or argument match   with a boss chances are you will not win.  Just keep saying “I hear what you’re saying” “I understand the impact my mistake may have but I promise to do better next time”.  This approach will give you the upper hand and in the end your boss might apologize to you for over re-acting.

 

5.   Your employer keeps records about you. I suggest you keep a record of your employer/supervisor.  Take a minute each day to record something that stuck out for you that day.

 

6.     If you are not sure of something ask questions. Contrary to what some might say, there are no stupid questions.

 

7.     Do not engage in workplace gossip. You can be cordial and friendly but maintain your professionalism.

 

9.     If your boss tries to speak to you in a tone unbecoming remind your boss politely but firmly, you are an employee not a child.  Let your employer knows you will appreciate it if he or she would address you like an intelligent adult.  Find out if there is a respectful workplace policy.  If your boss’ behaviour does not conform is there another level you can discuss your concerns with. If you are unionized then it will be the work of the union to grieve such matters for you but if not you have to depend on human resources.  Your records will come in handy.

 

10.   Your sanity is worth more than money. I know, I know you have to live. God, the Universe, the Creator will take care of that. All you have to do is to make a decision to leave with all your marbles in tact. Have faith that when a door closes another one opens up you have to have faith and live in faith that all things happen to you for your benefit.

Affirmation:  I love and respect myself because I am worth it.

Celebrate the presence of life in your body today

Look out on life with amazement, not shock. The variety, the diversity, the manner of every person, the beauty amidst the drudgery, the contrasts, the opportunities, the heroism in the lives of ordinary people, your gifts, your talents, your friends - even just one friend is all awesome. Live in awe, and entertain wonder, and you will be knocking on the door of true love. Don't kill it with cynicism or criticism, don't sabotage your life with moaning and complaining. Open the eyes in your head and the eye in your intellect and choose to see the stunning, awesome, diverse beauty of life happening around you right now. Meet it with your heart and you will enrich and be enriched in one single moment.

-relax7.com

Life Message from me to you

When my thoughts are clear I experience a sense of bliss

I fear nothing life feels like a lover's kiss

my body appears to vanish like a mystic

and I get a glimpse of my eternal spirit.

How to Dress for a successful Interview

There is a lot of information out there about dressing for success and advising people to wear particular clothes to achieve success.  My advice is to wear what is comfortable and tasteful. If your clothes feel tight, it is tight and I have rarely seen a tight fitting outfit that looks flattering on anyone. Wear clothes that fit the body well and show off your best side not your backside.

 

Ten Tips on Dressing for Success at an Interview

 

1)         Dress to suit the culture of the company you are trying to get a job at. If you are going for a hairdressing job, then having a little pizzazz in your hair might be considered a plus, not in a regular office setting.

 

2)         Mind your fragrance. Be sensitive. There are many people who are allergic to scents – much more than before – perhaps the person interviewing is one such person and with the distraction of your scent your outcome may likely be negative;

 

3)         Nose rings, multiple earrings, tongue rings and vulgar arm tattoos should be hidden or taken off all together if necessary.  An employer has the right to dictate the image of his employees to reflect his company’s image. I have seen people get fired as waitresses for refusing to get rid of their tongue and nose rings. This is not a human rights issue.

 

4)     If you wear sunglasses that are not for medical reasons, then take them off in the interview. It’s impolite to wear dark glasses unless you are being interviewed to become a spy of some sort. An interviewer can read information from your eyes. Dark glasses may give the wrong impression about you.

5)     Do not overdress for the occasion.  If you are applying for a job as a desk clerk, do not wear a stiff three piece suit.  A suitable tie will suffice.

 

6)     Dress conservatively to be on the safe side. A short sexy skirt may give the wrong impression as well as a heavily made up face. The employer might think that dressed like that may distract other employees or lessen your productivity.

 

7)     Make sure your clothes are neatly pressed, hair combed and there is no food stuck in your teeth – nothing is more distracting than that.

 

8)     Cigarette smell is one of the scents that might throw off the interviewer especially if that person does not smoke.  Do not ask for a smoke break during an interview and do not take your coffee cup with you into the interview. Drink your coffee and smoke your cigarette and wash out your mouth or gargle with some sort of minty mouthwash to freshen your breath.  You do not want to distract the interviewer from seeing your best side.

 

9)    Finger nails should be clean and well manicured but not painted in some gaudy black or hot red colour. Keep in simple and fresh.

 

10)   There is a saying that the first thing people look at is your shoes. Make sure your shoes are clean, polished and appropriate.  Leave the sling back shoes for after you get the job. Women a nice sleek handbag would be appropriate.

 

The interview is a step in the door and you want to maximize your chances to get the job. My advice to you is keeping everything simple, straightforward and tasteful. Sometimes your personal presentation can have a huge influence on the outcome.  If you look the part it is easier for the interviewer to see you in the job. Each job interview must be analyzed careful to know what will be enhancing and what will be defeating your chances of success. Good luck.

Ethnocentrism raises its ugly head in China

It must appear daunting to people working in the race relations field who are seeking ways and means to end racism, racial discrimination and ethnocentrism including all the other isms. As the old world order crumbles those in power and who have enjoyed unearned privileges historically are finding it hard to share and share alike. They use force to get their ways but time for change is set and nothing will thwart it. The universe is setting the stage to make the world into a more viable, more equitable and more just system. We as human beings are mere cogs in the wheel of the Creator.  In the same way that we cannot stop the tsunamis, the earthquakes and the hurricanes from happening even though we know they are coming, we cannot stop change. Through technologies such as internet and all the social networking sites, the world is getting more and more intertwined. We are connected to the farthest corners of the globe. The light of modernity shines in every corner and there are watchdogs sounding the call and alerting those of like minds that an injustice is happening somewhere. Leaders can no more find protection under the cloak of secrecy, the internet like a worm invades every dark hole. We see in real time the cruelty and injustices meted out against minorities all over the world.  The time has come to end this. We are responsible for each other.

     In

China

the Hans and the Uighers are at war. The Hans wants to maintain its privilege though unearned and the Uighers have found the courage to stand up and be counted. They want to be who they are. They want freedom and justice and fairness. They want their basic human rights and they deserve that much.

  According to the New York Times, a 2009 Amnesty International report on threats to Uighur identity charts the recent history of the erosion of the Uighur language in education, beginning with a policy in the 1990s that eliminated Uighur as a language of instruction at the university level. Today, at

Xinjiang

University

in

Urumqi

, only Uighur poetry classes are taught in Uighur, the report says. In 2006, the government began carrying out policies that make Chinese the main language of preschool instruction.

The Chinese will have to learn that what they do now will affect generations to come and like what is happening in the USA where they are trying to right wrongs of the past, the young generation who expect fairness and equality are confused about the government actions through Affirmative Action and equity policies which they see as unfair and reverse discrimination which in reality is only the government’s attempt to right past wrongs and level the playing field. They want jobs just like blacks, they have to feed their children and they want things to be equal. We are mature as a species and it’s time we do the right thing.

The Native Americans say: When we walk upon the earth, we always place our feet very carefully upon the ground, because we know the faces of our future generations are looking up at us from below, and we never forget them.

The weak has found their strength, the downtrodden of the world are rising up, people everywhere are feeling the winds of change blowing in their direction and they are seizing the day and the opportunity to be heard and right past wrongs. There is no superior race, ethnic group or religion.  All of us who dwell on the earth are here for one reason that is to understand our Source of being and to live in alignment with that Source.  We have to learn to recognize our false selves (the ego) and embrace that which is good within us, that which we came from.  If one person from the Hans ethnic group should stand up and another join him, they can start a movement for positive change. When there is peace, there is harmony there is love and respect and forgiveness. The earth is one country and mankind its citizens. Let us live in peace, please.

Virus of the mind

SamBoakye is a freshman at Ohio University. He is the only black on the floor of the dormitory he shares with a white room mate. Because of historical racism and discrimination Boakye thinks he has something to prove. Through this negative impulse he is prepared to work his hardest to prove to his white room mates that blacks are just as smart.

  Does he really have to represent all Blacks, isn't it enough that there are hundreds or thousands of Blacks in the States who have proved it time and again that they are smart? Isn't having the President of the United States of America, President Obama, a black enough to make Boakye feel satisfied? Isn't Oprah Winfrey's larger than life image in America's pop culture, Dr. Bill Cosby, Maya Angelou,etc. etc. etc. enough no! Tom is suffering from a virus of the mind called meme which was put there by the institutions of the past, the church, his parents, scientists and so on, that tells him he has to try doubly hard, that he does not measure up, that Blacks are inferior. Sam has to find an antidote to that virus of the mind, the meme. (Memes are the DNA of human society, influencing every aspect of mind, behavior, and culture.)

Sam can overcome the meme by letting go and let the Creator in. He has to come to the realization that he is not his past nor his present he is now. Who he is is who he is. He does not have to prove anything he just have to be better than he was before. By believing he has to prove something to be respected, to be loved, to be accepted, he is allowing his ego free reign. If Sam just be himself and open his heart to loving his roommate sincerely, by displaying the virtues of the Creator, he is opening up according to Dr. Wayne Dyer, for the operation of the law of attraction.

Life is about giving, serving, not taking and wanting.  It is about living in the now and being the best you can be. When you work from a God-consciousness the way you look at things change and when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Read the article in the New York Time, it is enlightening:

Interracial Roommates Can Reduce Prejudice, Campus Studies Find - NYTimes.com

Ten Tips to Resolve a Conflict

 1.  Determine what is the problem and what is your role in the problem. A problem always has more than one side.

2.  Don’t try to solve the problem on the fly, schedule a time and a place for the resolution process. 

3.     Be formal, respect the process by setting out ground rules that you will abide by during the process, how you will speak to each other, things you will not do etc.

4.     Focus on the issues/behaviour not the individuals.

5.     Do not make it a fact finding or fault blaming session. There will be no resolution.

6.     Use words that promote peace not words that inflame the situation.  E.g. I hear what you are saying but I do not remember it in that way, here is what I recall…

7.     Rephrase what you hear the other person say so that they know you are listening and that you are constantly on the same page e.g.  Let me see if I understand this correctly….

8.     Avoid words that connotes blame, you are trying to solve a problem not create one.
 E.g. if you did not do so I would not…instead, how can be ensure that this does not happen again, let’s brainstorm

9.      If the relationship is important, if it is your wife, your child, your co-worker, then   you must see the process to the end and find a resolution that will restore the relationship in a good way. Be patient, search within yourself and be honest. The  answer lies within you.

10. When you have discussed the matter thoroughly and admitted to your role in the  conflict write out an agreement that you both agree to that you can live with as  you forward in life.  Agreements are important, they serve as a reminder of what you have been through and what you have discussed and what you have agreed to.  It is a powerful piece of paper to keep you accountable and conscious.

Getting along within a multigenerational workforce

Every generation has its own trademark.  It is a trademark that the previous generation may not be able to identify with readily but to which they can adjust if they are flexible. Flexibility is one of the keys to getting along in a multigenerational workplace. Do not become the dinosaur who cannot adapt to changes in the workplace cultural environment.

 

   The values of younger people are quite different from those of older generation. These values that they have are unconsciously passed down to them from their parents which might be you.  The younger generation is way more pampered, way more team-oriented and way-more multi-tasker than previous generation. They are technological wizards, they write differently.  All their eyes may not be dotted or t’s crossed but that does not make them a poor worker.

 

   In a given workplace you may find people who are traditionalists,(1927-45) those who conform to traditions of the past, the hard working ethics, they follow the rules, respect hierarchy and are less techno savvy, they like the personal touch rather than emails and texting.

Baby boomers (1946-64) think highly of themselves and are very competitive, they want to get ahead and they feel they have something important to say and do, they are people with a mission; they challenge authority and expect to be promoted and be treated fairly; they are the power-hungry generation, they love power and want power. Their lives revolve around their work – they put in the hours and expect to be rewarded with promotion.

 

Generation Xs (1965-80) are the children of baby boomers. They grew up in relative comfort and raised to be high achievers. They were sent to the best schools, engaged in after school activities and were pushed to be the best.  This is a generation of latch key children because their double income parents were busy making money to live the good life; this was the age of the introduction of video games and home computers. Gen X are said to be individualistic and resourceful because they had to fend for themselves at a young age.  Do not micromanage Generation X they may just walk away from the job. Give them space. They are not as committed to employer as previous generation, they work and take vacations, and they need time off.  You treat them right and they will work for you.  Their motto could be work to live rather than live to work.

Generation Y (1981 or later) – those in their mid twenties to early thirties – are your cell phone, black berry, head phone people who wants to be in constant touch with their friends and the world. They engage in text messaging, twitter and all the gadgets desired to connect with others quickly. They are very social and love to have fun.  They loved to receive constant attention and feedback – they are the pampered generation whose parents hovered around them like a hovercraft- They were driven to school, driven to sports and children whose parents’ world revolved around them. They are high achievers.  They are loyal but want to be included in decision making; they like to be involved as a member of the team. These are the children who were most involved in working as a team on projects in school, playing sports and doing things as a group so this is natural to them.

You want to keep a Gen Y happy, ask for their input, do not shut them away by themselves in an office, if you do that they may just be on the phone or texting their friends all the time. Allow them to mingle.

 

Ten ways to work with people outside of your generation.

 

1.  Take time to get to know the person to find out what is important to them and how         their values are shaped.

 

2.   Be open minded to change realizing that nothing remains stagnant only some of us refuse to move

 

3.  Treat each person as an individual, the person may not be a conformist and may not fit the stereotype, though may have some traits of a particular generation

 

4.  Foster and encourage diverse work teams that include factors such as race, gender, sex, age and ability. When people work together they learn about each other and develop a greater tolerance and understanding of each other.

 

5.  Keep the lines of communication open

 

6.  Listen to each other.

 

7.  Respect staff regardless of age, race, gender, religion etc. Have a respectful workplace   policy posted in strategic places within the business establishment.

 

8.   Regardless of what you just read have no assumption about your co-workers and if you are the leader, keep an open mind and you will know what you need to know. This is not the age where the boss will be tolerated with a heavy stick, you have to communication and negotiate and truly become the winning team.

 

9.   Take pleasure in learning about others, develop a passion for it.

 

10.  Give people choices and freedom to do the work in the way they want. It should not matter how they do it but what should matter is the results.  Exercise Flexibility, make workers accountable for their and see the team as a group of individual people.