Most of us know someone who is struggling with addictions.
In fact I would go so far as to say that many of us are suffering from
addictions ourselves, some without even being conscious of it.
There are all kinds of addictions,
there’s addiction to cigarette, food, to sex, to alcohol, drugs and to cheating
on our spouses. We judge addicts very
harshly especially sex addicts and drug addicts – these are like the lowest of
the low. I myself, before I was enlightened, judged these folks harshly for
being weak and using their addictions to get what they want or as a pretext for
being just who they are – good for nothing. I was wrong. I was being
judgmental.
A few nights ago I listened to Tatum O’Neal, the sweet little girl who everyone loved as a child but many now judge her harshly for being and addict and losing her children. Somehow when men are addicts they are not judged as harshly but women, mothers are held at a higher standard.
It’s as though I felt the pain of Tatum as she struggled to come to terms with her addiction and her recent trouble with the law. She spoke of the shame and degradation she felt as a 44 year old mother being hauled to jail; she spoke about the shame she had brought on her children who are in university and would have to face their mother’s shame. It was a lot of shame. It seems so unfair.
A person suffering from high blood pressure, cancer, cystic fibrosis or any other disease is not ashamed of their illness. Why should addicts be ashamed? Why do we as a society think it is so easy to stop being addicted? Who made us judge over these sick people? We are not here to judge but to love and support. When we try to understand what is behind the addiction we may become more empathetic towards our loved ones and even strangers who are struck down by this illness. Judging, chastising and trying to shame them into subjection will only drive the person deeper into his or her addiction. You cannot be in a greater hell than the person who is addicted. They are not only addicted but also conflicted and struggling for life even though it may not seem so to the outsider. Every heart knows it pain.
Addiction is however a spiritual illness. Overcoming addictions is to surrender one’s life to a power greater than himself. The twelve-step program has worked well and a proven success. Even if you do not believe in God, Creator you have to believe in something to get through this, something beyond you. Since you might have tried everything why not give God, the Creator a chance before you rule Her out. Because you have to acknowledge that you are a child of the Universe, a child of God, the Creator and you have to ask and trust in the Guidance the Messengers of God have given us. God is The physician an addict needs to help her. Let God into your heart and feel your spirit lifted. You are a worthwhile human being because you have been created in God’s image, you are a piece of God and you are loved and cared for but to receive the love you have to open your heart and arms to receive it. The ego within us runs counter to our God spirit because the ego thinks it is in charge but we all know by now that it isn’t. Humility is strength. Observe the Dalai Lama; he appears to be the epitome of humility and the world clamor for him in a way they have not clamored for any other spiritual leader in recent times. There is something about humility we like as human beings and they attract we are attracted to humility because it is a reflection of that God spirit because God is humble.
Oprah kept asking Tatum what is she trying to bury with drugs. Tatum was not sure but as she spoke, it is the worthlessness she feels about herself. In spite of the charmed life she lived as a movie actress and a child of rich famous people, the little girl inside still seeks approval, still needs to be validated by outsiders, still needs to feel she is good enough. That is sad. Perhaps she grew up too fast, perhaps the circumstances of her life has given her this experience. In the larger scheme of things, perhaps this is the experience she came on this earth to have to strengthen her spirit for the life ahead.
According to the Baha’i faith, we enter this world as we enter our mother’s womb. This is our incubation for life everlasting and therefore we need to be well prepared spiritually to lead healthy successful lives in eternity. This human excursion is just that a passing phase for we are spiritual beings having this human experience.
Dr. Wayne Dyer said that we lose our way when we are disconnected from the Source of our being. Disconnection brings pain. For all those of us who are afflicted with spiritual illnesses we need to ask ourselves, when was the last time we had a spiritual tune up? We all know if we do not tune up our car regularly with the right type of oil etc. that soon the car will stall and we’ll have to pay that much more to get the problem fixed. When we are disconnected from our Source after a while we feel so lost, so alone, so hopeless and to energize ourselves we turn to self-destructive behaviors like drinking, drugs, sex and so on, short term fixes that need less and less turn around time to keep the little feelings of well-being alive. It becomes a downward spiral. Stop.
Meditation:
I am part of the organic human family I am connected to my humanity through my connection with the Creator who created us all, the earth and all that is with in it. Once I am connected to my Creator, the Source of all abundance, love, hope I have nothing to fear, all is good, I am good, God is good.
