Live Fully

Turn lemons into lemonade

  We cannot change other people's behaviour but we can change ourselves and can change our reaction to negative circumstances. As the saying goes when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.  Here is a story where a man did just that, use his disadvantage to his advantage in a creative way.

As a boy he was bullied and tormented because he was different but he has triumphed over his bullies

Channel Creativity Into Activism to Boost Your Career

Being Bullied

Del Arco was born in Uruguay, a country in southeast South America. As a child, he played with dolls and was often mistaken for a girl. His parents took him to a therapist to get him to act more like a boy, to no avail. Later, when he was 10, his family left their home for America. His first plane ride was a 15-hour trip to New York's John F. Kennedy airport. At first, he was excited to be in America because he thought life would be like the TV show "The Jetsons."

"I thought there would be big TV screens in everyone's house and we'd eat pills instead of food," he says. "I thought we'd have cars that fly."

Instead, his family moved into a two-bedroom, "rat-infested" apartment in Port Chester, N.Y., furnished by the Salvation Army. School was no respite. He couldn't speak English so he was put in a class with many poor, Spanish-speaking Latinos. The class "reminded me of steerage in the movie 'Titanic,'" he says. "If something bad were to happen, we'd be the last rescued or, worse, locked in that room, left to die."

The Latino students did not accept Del Arco, calling him "white" and shunning him. The teasing that began in Uruguay followed him to the United States. Students called him names and physically threatened him.

Once he was in junior high school, the bullying became relentless. Del Arco talked about one bully whom he called Bruce, who tormented him at school and often followed him home and terrified him. "I was sure he would kill me," Del Arco says.

Del Arco told his tormentor a clever lie, about "contagious nose cancer," that frightened the bully enough that he left Del Arco alone for the remainder of junior high school and all through high school. "That is how I learned to outsmart the bullies and not get injured," he says. "I had my imagination and my creativity and that was an asset, a way to navigate a lot of these obstacles....

How to deal with bullies in the workplace - Ten Tips

 

Human rights legislation covers unreasonable discrimination and harassment in the workplace based on one of the protected grounds such as age, race, disability, sex etc. However, most of the harassment that people experience in the workplace are not human rights but personal harassment by an incompetent boss or by someone who is tripping all over his or her ego that they feel it necessary to belittle others in order to feel powerful and important. These people can make a hell of a person’s work life. These are the most insidious types of harms workers feel in the workplace. When you are an employee some bosses like to treat you in ways they cannot treat their own children. They want to tell you what to do and how to do it and call you names such as idiot, dumb, sicko, stupid and the worse kinds of swear words they use at you when they cannot get their way. Where do people go with that? You may be able to take the matter to court but how many can afford to do so. You feel you are in a no-win situation. You may love your job and do not want to move but how do you live in such a toxic, inhospitable and demeaning environment.  The truth is you can’t, you will either die, have a nervous breakdown, or do harm to your boss – all untenable situations.  In any workplace, you will find that some people get bullied more than others. There are some people that the boss would not dream to tangle with those are the people who are confident and wise and their body language say, I respect myself.

 

Ten tips on dealing with workplace bullies and to avoid being bullied

 

1.  First rule respect yourself

 

2.  Second rule do your job to the best of your ability

 

3.  When you respect yourself others will respect you and you will not be tempted to turn yourself into a doormat and give others the permission to walk all over you.

 

4.   Regardless of what type of job you do carry yourself in a professional manner

 

 5.  We all make mistakes and if you make a mistake, own up to it in a dignified manner and promise to do better next time.  Do not get into a shouting or argument match   with a boss chances are you will not win.  Just keep saying “I hear what you’re saying” “I understand the impact my mistake may have but I promise to do better next time”.  This approach will give you the upper hand and in the end your boss might apologize to you for over re-acting.

 

5.   Your employer keeps records about you. I suggest you keep a record of your employer/supervisor.  Take a minute each day to record something that stuck out for you that day.

 

6.     If you are not sure of something ask questions. Contrary to what some might say, there are no stupid questions.

 

7.     Do not engage in workplace gossip. You can be cordial and friendly but maintain your professionalism.

 

9.     If your boss tries to speak to you in a tone unbecoming remind your boss politely but firmly, you are an employee not a child.  Let your employer knows you will appreciate it if he or she would address you like an intelligent adult.  Find out if there is a respectful workplace policy.  If your boss’ behaviour does not conform is there another level you can discuss your concerns with. If you are unionized then it will be the work of the union to grieve such matters for you but if not you have to depend on human resources.  Your records will come in handy.

 

10.   Your sanity is worth more than money. I know, I know you have to live. God, the Universe, the Creator will take care of that. All you have to do is to make a decision to leave with all your marbles in tact. Have faith that when a door closes another one opens up you have to have faith and live in faith that all things happen to you for your benefit.

Affirmation:  I love and respect myself because I am worth it.