Have you ever thought about the choices you make everyday and what they are communicating about you? I am sure you would agree that everything we do communicate something personal about us and choice is what we do. We choose the route to work, the type of pens we like, clothing and our words etc.
If you choose to wear your traditional outfit to school what are you saying to your class mates? Have you thought about that? Could you be saying that even though I am in your country, I am proud of who I am and my culture is superior to yours, or are you saying that I feel more comfortable in wearing my traditional because it’s what I am accustomed to and what feels right on me, or are you inviting your fellow students to find out more about you and your culture? You wear it because you have a choice. In some countries you have to follow certain prescribed dress code whereas in countries like Canada which has a multicultural policy people have choices.
We choose where to sit on a bus with several vacant seats that are available to choose from. I remember when I first came to Canada and travelled on the bus, I felt very conspicuous as all the seats will fill up around, in front and behind me and the seat next to me will remain vacant and was the last seat to be taken, if taken at all. The choices that people made me feel as if I smelt funny. I felt that they were communicating some kind of hesitancy in sitting next to me, maybe because they felt I would not like it or they wanted to let me know that I was not welcomed in their country. The fact is the language of our choice is heard loud and clear by those around us.
When we choose we assign importance to that which we choose. As a person who deals with a lot of files involving complaints from the public, oftentimes we do not always – if we have choice – deal with the complaints in the order that we receive them. We may choose to ignore some for as long as we possibly can while we rush through others. When we do that we assign value and importance to that choice. I was listening to a news story from Dubai and I heard a migrant say that if he was in a restaurant waiting for service and a local came in after him, the local will be served before him because the server assigns more importance to his country man or woman than a foreigner. Foreigners come and go but locals are always there was the feeling.
In Canada, when new migrants apply for jobs and potential employers choose not to hire them even though they may be the most qualified, they are communicating something important to the newcomers. They may be communicating lack of trust and confidence in the education and experience of other nations or their discomfort with change and difference or simply they can’t be bothered hiring what might appear to be a high maintenance employee.
The next time you choose maybe you might want to think about what your choice is communicating and why you want to get that particular message across, why are you assigning values the way you do? Is it automatic or well thought out? And have you considered the impact your choice might have on others. By making your choices mindfully, we will learn more about you and the values you hold dear and whether they are worth holding on to or is it time to choose to change.
