I am going to tell you this and it is true. Most people do not care about their culture in a day to day way but they care that others show respect to them. What some people market as cross-cultural training is training in sensitivity to people you do not know very well. Our culture is a human culture. Those who tend to be insensitive are the ones who believe they are superior to other people.
No one will be mad at anyone if we show genuine interest and concern for others. We generally love speaking about the way we lived back in the old country. It’s exchanging stories, it’s like sharing recipes. When women get together and start talking about the way they cook various kinds of foods, it is a happy time. A lot of learning, sharing and fun go on. If you are going to ask as question like “what is it that you guys eat that smells up the place… is it curry?” that is going to be offensive and the speaker might have intended to make the other feel uncomfortable and giving a message that you’re in a new country try and adapt to our foods. That would be bigoted because hamburgers and French fries can be quite smelly as well. What makes one smell more palatable than the other?
To get along with people from different cultures does not require you to go and read up about that culture. It is much easier to learn something about the people from that culture by speaking to a person from the cultural group. Here are a few general tips to keep in mind when speaking to a person from a different cultural group or a stranger from one’s own country that you have just met. It is true that because of the historical cultural hegemony of the Caucasians, people from third world countries are wary of their patronization and their sense of superiority so as soon as a Caucasian person may say something out of turn perhaps by trying too hard to be culturally sensitive, the other quickly jumps on him or her and shout racism. It is therefore important for the Caucasian to be even more careful in projecting genuine interest in the other or don’t bother talking at all because people can easily see through insincerity. Here we go:
1. Before you go on a cross-questioning fiasco, share something important about your own beliefs, customs or worldview. Give up something about you thus encouraging the other to talk.
2. Be direct, don’t try too hard to be politically correct. For instance you can say something like, it’s so great to live in a place like Canada Finland Scotland
3. If you give you will get.
4. If you are genuinely interested people will feel it and respond to that.
5. If you make a mistake apologize and move on, do not beat yourself up because I’m sure the person facing you will not think it is such a big deal if you do not make it into one.
6. Remember the person opposite you wants the same thing you want to be respected as a human being; they want to understand and be understood.
7. Try not to refer to a group of people as “you” people – that sounds demeaning. People always respond positively to questions like “what is your favorite food? or drink, or music?” this gives the person an opportunity to speak of themselves to someone who is interested and listening;
8. While it is not essential to read up everything on a person’s culture because you will never learn of a person’s culture in a day or week but get glimpses of a person’s culture through positive interaction, it will be nice to know a thing or two about the country. For instance if you are going to lunch with a person from Nicaragua it may be interesting to the Nicaraguan if you had a faint idea of where the country is located and some of the political figures, the products the country produces and so on. You just have to know a little and the person will fill you in. Greeting the person by saying “Ola” breaks the ice and creates a warm feeling.
These are enough tips for you to be culturally literate my friends. You do not need a heck of a lot more but if I think of some, you will hear of it. Keep checking back.
