If you are new to Canada or are contemplating on migrating to Canada with your small children, it will be wise to familiarize yourself with the parenting style of Canadian culture. For many of us, our children are the most important things in our lives and if we should lose them our lives would appear not to be worth living. Many newcomer immigrant and refugees have had the heartrending experience of having their children taken away from their care and placed in the hands of strangers. This happened because they did not understand the Canadian rules of parenting.
There is zero tolerance for violence in Canada including violence against children. If you are from a culture that beat children in order to discipline them, when you come to Canada, you will have to find another way of disciplining your children because if you do Child and Family Services may apprehend them. Sometimes children are apprehended for reasons of cultural ignorance on the part of the counselors who are not cross-culturally competent but they prefer to err on the side of caution. Here are some tips to help you keep your children:
- Talk to them; ask them about their day e.g. what happened in school, what have they learned. Let them know you are interested in them.
- Be available. Be home when your children get home from school. Be involved in their lives.
- Respect your children. When you give respect you gain more respect and they gain confidence.
- Attend a parenting course as soon as possible after you arrive so you are armed with new techniques you can apply to your parenting style. Remember a non-violent way of parenting is the preferred way.
- Children are living in a different world. Their realities are different from what you might have experienced. Learn about your children’s realities in the present culture to understand them better.
- Listen to them to learn what they are feeling or what they are going through without judging or ridiculing them
- Set ground rules for the home and stick to them. Do not say one thing and do another.
- If you two-parent family one parent should be seen as doing something gainful even if he or she receives money from the Government. A father or mother can volunteer with a community organization or any non-profit organization while the other remains at home to ensure the children are properly fed good nutritious food, they have clean clothes and taken care of with love.
- Make sure your children pay attention to their homework – you may not understand English but you can ask for help from a community member to mentor you and to help you monitor your children’s homework or enroll them in an after school program. Find out what they are learning in school.
Hitting is never an option. Talk, communicate, and learn about their world. Most important of all let them know you love them by saying so once in a while. It will not hurt you to say, “I love you. I’m proud of you.” This will make your child love you and respect you and want to please you.
